Part 2: The Medical School Student
Elias maintained his academic standing through extreme perfectionism, treating his rigorous medical school schedule like an inviolable contract. He was the kind of student that looked perfect on the outside; in reality, though, his strict commitment to maintaining his high grades—and the praise he received as a result—had caused his wellbeing to be dependent on his academic performance. Consequently, he struggled to emotionally handle any minor academic setbacks. He thought that, although unpleasant, this characteristic helped him by pushing him to try harder in hopes of avoiding academic shame. But, obliviously, he was on the verge of a serious awakening…
The week before submitting his final clinical case analysis—an essential part of his residency application—Elias was mentally and physically exhausted. After meticulously reviewing the long document at 2:00 in the morning, he realized there was a flaw in the format – he would have to retype the document. Elias’s emotion swiftly changed – he knew he had time to fix the error, but what truly angered him was the fact that he allowed himself to make a mistake and that he would have to defy his perfectionistic mentality. He felt a profound sense of failure – his work was now “worthless.”
In a feverish, impulsive act, Elias did something even worse than plain yelling. He opened his computer’s trash folder and dragged the entire project into the folder, permanently deleting months of work.
He sat for a few minutes in silence, yet to process what just happened.
Then the catastrophic reality sunk in. Elias realized the finality of his actions. His uncontrolled emotions had now utterly thwarted his academic goals.
He knew his reaction was extremely out of proportion. Feeling shameful, he began to wonder:
“Why did I have such a strong emotional response in the first place?”
“Why would I give in to these impulsive thoughts?”
He didn’t feel like himself, and he refused to let this inner volatility continue.
Elias devised two brief daily strategies to address and reduce the frequency of these disproportionate emotional reactions. First, he started carrying his stethoscope everywhere so that he could squeeze the cold metal chestpiece to immediately interrupt the “fight or flight” response when feeling a surge of inner pressure. And lastly, he practiced cognitive reappraisal for two minutes, acknowledging the intense emotion and reminding himself that what he perceived as failure was less significant than he thought. Soon, he was able to remain calm and accept that one single, minor error doesn’t erase years of preparation or academic trajectory.
Sources: