The Hidden Inflammation of Over-Responsibility

Week

Theme

Goal

Action Steps

1

Reframe Overachiever Thoughts

Identify and challenge “black-and-white” or self-critical thinking to reduce stress and guilt.

1. If “I should do this perfectly” pops into your head, pause and ask, “Is that really true?” Recognizing that these thoughts increase pressure can relieve your guilt.  

2. When an all-or-nothing thought surfaces (like “I’m not smart because of one mistake”), stop and take a breath. Remind yourself it’s an exaggeration; nobody’s perfect.  

3. Play detective: if your inner critic won’t quiet down, ask, “Would I say this to a friend?” You probably wouldn’t, so give yourself the same break.

 4. Focus on one win: write down a small thing you did well today (e.g. “I showed up for class”). Documenting positive actions stimulates your brain to counterbalance negativity.  

2

Healthy Boundaries

Protect your time and energy by setting clear limits and saying “no” when needed.

1. Own your tasks: List in your mind what’s truly your responsibility versus others’. Remember you control only your own actions and feelings, not what others do.  

2. Try a script: Practice a polite refusal phrase (e.g., “I wish I could, but I have to focus on X right now”). Having a prepared response makes it easier to say “no” without guilt.  

3. Link “no” to “yes”: Tell yourself: “No to this request so I can say yes to my priorities.” Framing it this way shows that setting boundaries is actually doing something good for you.  

 4. Celebrate saying “no”: At the end of the week, recall a time you politely refused something. Notice you survived saying “no”; respecting your limits actually lowers stress.

3

Guilt & Responsibility

Stop carrying unwarranted guilt by assessing what is actually your responsibility and forgiving yourself.

1. If something insignificant makes you feel guilty (like taking a short break), do it anyway once. Facing the “guilty” action head-on often shows there’s no real harm.  

2. Fix & release: If you did make a significant mistake or miss an important responsibility, send a quick “Sorry, I’m correcting this now” message and then let it go. Once the issue’s resolved, keeping the guilt around is NOT useful.  

3. Own only what’s yours: Look at a current worry and ask, “What part of this was really in my control?” Whatever you identify as within your control, resolve that the rest wasn’t. 

4. Count real wins: Write down one thing you handled well today (no matter how small). Acknowledging actual achievements shifts focus away from failures and stops negative spirals.

4

Realistic Planning & Goals

Use specific goals and planning to manage tasks without burning out.

1. Small first step: choose the hardest task and divide it into sections. Choose one manageable subsection (e.g. “write one paragraph”). Performing tasks in subsections promotes momentum and makes the task feel achievable.  

2. Quick win: Complete an easy task right now (reply to a short email or clear a notification). Clearing a small chore frees mental space. 

3. Ask for help: if something isn’t unique to you, send a two-sentence email or note asking a teammate to handle it. Don’t be afraid to delegate when possible.