“Just like seizures, these emotional misfires don’t always stay the same. They can spread… until stress, criticism, even miniscule mistakes feel like live wires sparking inside you.”
Here’s what I mean:
Part 2: When the Armor Buckles
“Just like seizures, these emotional misfires don’t always stay the same. They can spread… until stress, criticism, even minuscule mistakes feel like live wires sparking inside you.”
Here’s what I mean:
With epilepsy, one trigger leads to one misfired brain signal & seizure. Over time, these progress to regularly misfired signals, which manifest as cascading and repetitive seizures.
Similarly, with emotional dysregulation a small stressor turns into a relatively disproportionate reaction. You then ruminate about that reaction – because you are embarrassed by your response – which fuels feelings of shame. This leads to suppression of your emotions (including ignoring your emotions because they are “distracting you from your work”), which only causes a more explosive reaction after the next inconvenience, event, or emotional trigger.
You might think suppressing your emotions is what you have to do, especially when you desire a quick fix. But the more you pressure yourself to ‘calm down,’ the more internally heightened your emotions become –until they spike – just like trying to fight against a seizure can be more physically harmful.
Let’s observe the emotional dysregulation loop in action:
Layla received feedback for her essay with a few comments in the margins. “Great work,” the teacher wrote, followed by a note suggesting her conclusion could be stronger. That one line stays in her head: not the “Great Work” – which Layla nearly completely forgot about – but the comment that her conclusion could be stronger. Later that evening, Layla decided to rewrite the entire paper, convinced it was never good enough. Midnight passed, then 1:00, then 2:00. She woke up the next morning exhausted and jittery, reread the feedback again, and she suddenly felt embarrassed for having cared so much. The next time a teacher returned one of her graded assignments, her stomach churned and her heart raced before she even read the comments. It wasn’t just a fear of the grade consuming her anymore; it was also a fear of feeling the shame and embarrassment she felt the time before. Each new critique carried the weight of the last, and soon even small comments sparked the same rush of panic that kept her trapped in this debilitating cycle.
As it did with Layla, emotional dysregulation can invade your mind and control your emotions. But it’s also important to realize that, untreated, emotional dysregulation eventually affects your body and, inevitably, your relationships too.
However, just like epilepsy patients learn strategies to reduce seizures, overachievers can learn to regulate their emotional surges. The secret isn’t more control. It’s rewiring the signals that control the thought patterns of our mind.
To be continued :)
Sources
medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000694.htm https://www.cdc.gov/epilepsy/about/index.html https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/17636-epilepsy https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/25065-emotional-dysregulation
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-emotional-dysregulation https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10282844/ https://childmind.org/article/can-help-kids-self-regulation/
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/progressive-muscle-relaxation-pmr
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8272667/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK513238/
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/progressive-muscle-relaxation-pmr
https://www.healthline.com/health/progressive-muscle-relaxation
https://www.va.gov/WHOLEHEALTHLIBRARY/tools/progressive-muscle-relaxation.asp
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/relaxation-technique/art-20045368
https://www.rochester.edu/uhs/ucc/online-screening-resources/deep-breathing-techniques/
https://ijmhs.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13033-022-00541-y